Narcissists are able to do this by brainwashing their victims. They use a variety of methods of in order to obtain control over their significant other. Very often, the narcissist acts sadistically in the guise of an enlightened interest in the welfare of his victim. He plays the psychiatrist to her psychopathology totally dreamt up by him. He acts the guru to her need of guidance, the avuncular or father figure, the teacher, the only true friend, the old and the experienced. All this in order to weaken her defenses and to lay siege to her disintegrating nerves.
Narcissistic Love versus Unconditional Love
But that would be good for everyone involved, and BPD is the epitome of evil. This article is a decent introduction to BPD women, but it only scratches the surface. Sure there are minor outbursts and warning signs at the outset, I really was ignorant, but also largely ignored a lot of red flags which I now really regret. Any how to make a long story short, I was blinded by the pussy, sex with a a BPD a really hot BPD is like fucking crack, you become addicted to that shit.
On top of that, this girl was so over the top with telling me she loved me, I was her soul mate, she wanted to marry me, etc. The culmination of which ended when she was belligerently blacked out drunk, was acting violently and abusively towards me and then when I went off on her calling her a psycho bitch and hit her with a pillow, she ran into her kitchen and called on her house phone, crazy bitch was threatening to hit her head against the wall to make it look like I hit her.
Hi Chump Lady, I’m 7 months out from D-Day year old chump, married 15 years with 2 sons. Some highlights I discovered My wife had multiple affairs throughout our marriage, including with someone that she hired on to work for my business.
Often, this separation occurs after a time of silence between you and the narcissist. The hoovering generally happens when you are not making contact, and at times when you are trying to get on with your life. If you are the one trying to contact and make-up, it is more likely that the narcissist will devalue and discard you. If this is not the case, it is because the narcissist still wants something from you — possessions, money, status, contacts or sex because other sources are momentarily low.
Such is the incredible brain-fry when you are stuck in the throes of narcissistic abuse. Additionally people have been astounded at how — even after the narcissist has moved on with a new partner — that they still make contact, and still try to affect and create reactions.
Women With Traits of BPD – Why Men Stay
Why does my wife feed our kids a steady diet of junk food? Does she want them to be obese? My ex allows our year old daughter to sleep in the same bed with her. What the hell is going on? My ex seems to get mad when I spend time with our kids and take them places or buy them little gifts or new school clothes.
Ruminations, ramblings, and rants about narcissism and trauma, politics, human nature, religion, and almost everything else.
The reason this came up to begin with is that I was discussing whether certain people in on-line support groups might be dealing with something other than BPD. There are certain support groups in which women make up a large proportion of the group. This confused me a bit, because BPD is much more likely to be diagnosed in women, rather than men. I also discussed it with an another knowledageble person about BPD. Narcissists almost never act on their suicidal ideation — Borderlines do so incessantly by cutting, self injury, or mutilation.
But both tend to become suicidal under severe and prolonged stress. NPDs can suffer from brief reactive psychoses in the same way that Borderlines suffer from psychotic microepisodes. The narcissist is way less impulsive; 2. The narcissist is less self-destructive, rarely self-mutilates, and practically never attempts suicide; 3. The narcissist is more stable displays reduced emotional lability, maintains stability in interpersonal relationships and so on.
Emotional tools will not work in my experience and in the experience of members of my list with NPD husbands for someone with NPD. Since I posted this in June of , Sam Vaknin has since determined that he is a psychopath.
Abused Men: How Covert Abuse Begins, Part One
If you suspect that you have these traits, please leave this website and redirect your attention to alternative web content, which might feel more congruent with your personal views and needs. There are very few females who haven’t encountered a borderline disordered male at some point during their lifetime, whether he’s been a fellow employee, a boss, a neighbor, or somebody from an online dating site–where there’s an exceptionally high ratio of them.
Just wanna get laid?? Stay right where you are. Seeking a healthy partnership?
If you date enough women, eventually you will encounter one with Borderline Personality Disorder. If autism is hyper-masculinization of the brain, it may help to think of BPD as characterizing hyper-feminization of the brain.
Both have deliberately merged their diagnoses to some extent, but some differences remain. For example, ICD does not include narcissistic personality disorder as a distinct category, while DSM-5 does not include enduring personality change after catastrophic experience or after psychiatric illness. ICD classifies the DSM-5 schizotypal personality disorder as a form of schizophrenia rather than as a personality disorder.
There are accepted diagnostic issues and controversies with regard to distinguishing particular personality disorder categories from each other. These criteria should be met by all personality disorder cases before a more specific diagnosis can be made. The ICD lists these general guideline criteria: This pattern is manifested in two or more of the following areas: The enduring pattern is inflexible and pervasive across a broad range of personal and social situations.
The enduring pattern leads to clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.
The REAL Reason the Narcissist Comes Back After No Contact
May 29, Abused Men: In the thread, forum members share their experiences of abuse and the abuse they have witnessed beloved brothers, sons and friends suffer. Abusive personalities typically follow similar patterns of behavior.
The woman with traits of BPD has a problem. She has an overriding fear of relationship betrayal. Most people imagine that this kind of fear centers around the more obvious forms of betrayal such as infidelity or relationship abandonment.
These men and women torture themselves with self-doubt Am I doing the right thing? Why did I have kids with that sadistic lunatic? These thoughts and feelings are a natural byproduct of being in an abusive relationship. They do this through a variety of methods, however, in order for any of their unconscious and conscious manipulations to work, they first need to envelop you in FOG fear, obligation, guilt.
FOG is the intangible glue that keeps many men and women stuck in abusive relationships. You get turned around and walk in the wrong direction. Objects seem further away than they are. Even sounds can be disorienting. A fog can feel cool and refreshing at first, like when your hiking in the mountains, but then becomes thick and muggy and uncomfortable and suffocating.
This can be true of emotional FOG. Most Nice Guys and Gals have been groomed to believe boundaries are mean and abusive and that taking care of themselves is selfish. For the FOG to be especially effective, many abusers instinctively know to isolate their targets from friends and family members who will help them to reality test and come out of the FOG. Once you get out of the FOG for a length of time, your head will start to clear and you will, hopefully, see things more objectively, which is precisely what a predatory abuser does not want to happen.
Recovering From Narcissistic Abuse: 13 Things that Helped Me the Most
He was Prince Charming the whole time we were together—until I accidentally stumbled upon his double life, which was so over-the-top there was no way he explain his way out of it. I was devastated, and he was totally nonchalant. It was though he was upset with me for finding out the truth about him than anything. I felt like I was losing not only my best friend, but the best thing that had ever happened to me.
Over the next few days, I dug and dug into his email, into his Facebook account, into anything that I could get access to. Outside of being incredibly hurtful, all his cheating, lies, and resentment was just so…bizarre.
Nov 09, · Borderline Personality Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group. Moderators: Echinacea, BPD and NPD: A match made in Hell. by reluctantly_mindful» Thu Aug 20, it’s good that you stopped dating that guy after what he said about children.
However, if you have any desire to move on after a breakup with someone suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder BPD , you must go no contact. You must protect your own mental health. What is NC or No Contact? No contact means to cut all contact with a person, to remove every trace of them from your life via zero communication. It does sound harsh, and perhaps it is, but chances are this breakup and the relationship itself have left you a physical and emotional mess.
Why is no contact so necessary after a breakup with a bpd partner? You need to heal. You need your mental health. You need your sanity. You need everything you used to like about yourself back.